Getting Along With Difficult People at Work

The articles is about the stress and anxiety caused by office intrigues and having “difficult” co-workers

Keywords:

stress and anxiety, depression

Article Body:

“Last week, my boss hired a “trainee” straight out of college to work in our department. She is young and it really showed in how she behaved. The problem is, this new “co-worker” of mine started acting like a prima donna. She has become manipulative and dominant. Some of my colleagues are complaining behind her back. It was becoming a nightmare for me just being near her. It has even made me think of quitting.”

Dealing with difficult co-workers is one of the leading causes of stress and anxiety. Unresolved...it would make that person even more depressed. There are people can't seem to get ahead in life because of relationships or situations. Our main set-backs is not all of us are taking the necessary steps to cope up with those people who make life unbearable for us at work. The following are just some of the list of behaviors that push our “buttons” in the workplace:

l Criticizing your religious or political beliefs

l Uncooperative

l Absenteeism (with effects the team members)

l Too much gossiping

l Arrogant

l Disrespectful to supervisors or co-workers

l Unfriendly

The ability to get along with people, adapting to their different personalities takes a certain degree of maturity, patience, understanding and it is the basic factor in our workplace survival and no amount of college education will ensure professional behavior. Workplace relationships is as crucial, it can even lead to unhappiness of that person can't get along with everybody or that person makes life miserable for others.

Coping with a troublesome co-worker

One of the biggest challenges of dealing with difficult co-workers is that their behavior can take many forms. If a co-worker is rude or negative it may require a different approach. Here are some general tips on how to cope with difficult co-workers:

l If that co-worker's unpleasant behavior interferes with how you do your job, you must find a way to solve it if is not directly interfering with your job the best way is just ignore it.

l Give your co-worker the benefit of the doubt.

l Speak up! Bring up the problem directly and privately to your co-worker. If the co-worker's problems is that she tends to be such a whiner or gossips continually. Put an end to it by discouraging that person.

l Try it out for yourself if talking to that person will solved the problem if not; that is the perfect time to talk to your manager. Managers generally expect you to work out most of the problems with people who are on your own level. Be sure you tried everything even a trusted mediator before going on a higher level.

Be also aware of your own behavior and work at changing them. Be sure to identify your strengths and weaknesses. You might not change or control the behavior or attitudes of others but you have the power to change yours.

It's only fitting, perhaps, that along with the magic of Santa Claus at

Before the discovery and use of electricity, candles were used to light

Christmas trees. That practice evolved into having glass covers with candles

inside them or metal lanterns that had small wicks. These were hung like

ornaments on Christmas trees. But even after Edison invented the incandescent

electric light bulb, it took many years before the large-scale manufacture of

Christmas tree lights were available commercially.

It is said that the idea of Christmas lights came from one of Edison's

assistants, Edward Johnson. In 1882, Johnson had Christmas tree bulbs made

specially for him. He displayed these electric bulbs on his Christmas tree at

his home on Fifth Avenue in New York City and it drew widespread attention. But

Christmas tree lights underwent many changes and improvement before General

Electric Co. introduced Christmas lights on a commercial scale. As an example,

among the earlier lights used on Christmas trees were night-lights that were

strung together to make light strings. After the commercial introduction of

Christmas lights, sales and wide-scale use of them soared.

Decorative mini-lights to be used for Christmas tree lighting were introduced in

the 1970s. Since then, they have continued to be popular and are the dominant

types of Christmas tree lights in the marketplace. Before that, icicle lights

were introduced as decoration for rooflines. Those decorative lights are the

most popular ones used for outdoor landscape lighting during the holidays.

Outdoor decorative lighting has evolved from Christmas tree lighting to also

become a popular way to use colorful lighting during the holidays to create

spectacular scenes.

Another development in decorative lighting at Christmas time is the use of

candles. Real candles can be used, but electric candles became more popular and

safer because they present less threat of a fire hazard. Today that threat has

also decreased with the development of flameless battery candles. The battery

operation also makes their use more flexible because they can be placed in areas

where there aren't electrical outlets. Candles are usually displayed at several

windows of a house during the holidays. They produce an appealing look

especially if there are at least two sets of three windows each other where they

can be placed.

Battery-operated candles can also be used during Christmas and the holidays for

other activities such as caroling, church services, school activities and for

other holiday arrangements around the home.

As Christmas lights have become a mandatory feature of the holidays, they are

continually being used in new ways that differ considerably from their early

beginnings. Outdoor lighting is now just as common as indoor lighting and that

is an area in which a change in the use of holiday lighting can be seen. Along

with icicle lights that illuminate rooflines and frames of houses, there are

also lights that are placed in shrubs. Holiday lighting also comes in the shape

of trees and other ornaments that can be placed on lawn to enhance the visual

appeal during the holidays.

Many lawns are landscaped by lighting during Christmas and the holiday season

with lighted figurines and various other items associated with the season. In

some communities, entire blocks of streets will have such elaborate holiday lawn

lighting that they attract passersby and even tourists - residents from

elsewhere - who are captivated by the spectacular visual displays of the

landscaped holiday lighting.

Getting Along with Critical People

We all have to deal with critical people at times. You know the type - the person who can spot a flaw from across the room, gives unsolicited advice, frequently complains and passes judgment, is negative and seems impossible to please. It can be quite challenging to get along with a critic, especially when we live, work or attend church with them. Learn practical strategies to help you get along better with critical people.

Keywords:

critical people, relationships, relationship at work, conflict resolution, difficult people, interpersonal relationships, relate well

Article Body:

We all have to deal with critical people at times. You know the type - the person who can spot a flaw from across the room, gives unsolicited advice, frequently complains and passes judgment, is negative and seems impossible to please.

We can all be critical. Every day, we literally critique everything that goes on around us consciously and unconsciously. Unfortunately, some people tend to verbalize the thoughts many of us have learned to keep to ourselves. When things don't go our way or we're in a bad mood it is easy to become critical. It's true, miserable people prefer miserable company. Critical people actually feel better around others who share the same negative attitudes. Before we spend time learning how to cope with other people's critical traits let's make sure we have our own well under control.

It can be quite challenging to get along with a critic, especially when we live, work or attend church with them. Here are 10 tips to help you get along better with critical people.

1. Understand what motivates people to be critical

Hurting people hurt people. Most critics were criticized themselves as children and did not develop the sense of security and healthy identity that can come from positive nurturing. They tend to have a low opinion of themselves and consequently feel best (although often frustrated) when attempting to achieve the unrealistic standards they set for themselves and others. Critics are often motivated by the need to feel better about themselves by putting other people down. Understanding their motivation can help us to develop empathy and compassion - two qualities that will help you get along with critical people.

2. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water

Although critical people often lack diplomacy and tact, they also tend to be able to size up people and situations accurately. You may be tempted to discount what you hear, but listen carefully to what they say because there is often valuable information underneath the sharp edges of the message.

3. Be willing to confront your critic

It is not easy to confront interpersonal problems, but it is typically the best approach. Be willing to tell the critic in your life how you feel about the way they interact with you. This won't guarantee change, however, by expressing your thoughts and feelings you are in a better position to manage your own emotions and behaviors. Emotional expression will decrease your chances of growing embittered, and consequently, doing or saying something you'll regret.

4. Focus on the truth not on the criticism

If someone puts you down, fight the temptation to dwell on the criticism. If there is something you can learn from the message, do so, but then move on. Instead of dwelling on the negative comment focus on the gifts, talents and strengths that you possess.

5. Be careful about what you share with the critical person

It's not always wise to share personal or important information with a critic about yourself or anyone else. Providing such information is asking for trouble because critical people often take things out of context, misinterpret or exaggerate information and place a negative spin on ideas or opinions. Learn how to discern what you should and should not reveal. When in doubt, don’t share.

6. Don't join in on criticizing others

It can be easy to fall into the trap of criticizing others when you're around a critical person. Joining in on the criticism only serves to legitimize the behavior in the mind of the critic, and the transition into gossip is close behind. Today the criticism is about someone else - tomorrow it could be directed toward you.

7. Limit the amount of time you spend with critical people

It may be very appropriate to limit the amount of time you spend with a critic. This, of course, can be difficult if they happen to be your spouse, parent or boss. However, it may be in your best interest to let the person know that your level of interaction with them will be based, in part, on their willingness to communicate with you in a constructive and appropriate manner. If the critic is your spouse you may benefit from consulting with a professional marriage counselor.

8. Control your response to critical people

Pay close attention to how you respond to criticism. If you tend to react with anger, hurt or intimidation, you will encourage the critical behavior. Critical people are often motivated to behave the way they do because of the response they trigger in others. When you learn to not overreact, the critic will likely move on to someone who will.

9. Try to understand the needs of the critical person

The emotional "gas tank" of a critical person is often very low. Criticism is sometimes an outward expression of an inward need - usually the need to feel worthwhile and significant. It is surprising how a sincere compliment, congratulations or demonstration of care and concern can improve your relationship. People with full emotional tanks are the least likely to mistreat others.

10. Maintain realistic expectations

Critical people don't change overnight. Even if they are making positive progress, they are likely to revert back to their old ways from time to time, especially under stress. Realistic expectations will help guide your interactions and will likely result in a healthier relationship.

Conflicts In the Office: Tips For Getting Along With Your Co-Workers

Life would be pleasant for in the office if you know how to get along with others.but if you're the type who don't make friends easily. its not too late to sharpen your office skills.

Keywords:

stress and anxiety

Article Body:

Ever since I joined the company two years ago. I noticed that I wasn't really that welcome in the department, at least, as far as some of my co-workers were concerned. There was a small group of women that was always “at the top of the game.” Then I came along. Excited and eager to prove myself, I actively participated in office meetings and made sure I shared my ideas and suggestions. My mistake! I blamed it on my inexperience. Welcome to the world of office politics! During meetings, rarely would they address me and ask for my thoughts. Whenever I make jokes to lighten up the mood, they would roll their eyes and ignore me. I admit, I do have a strong personality. Things became worse when my boss complimented me for doing a good job on a client presentation. Now, I feel like a ghost whenever I am around them because nobody seems to notice my presence. My boss told me to just ignore them but the situation has affected my morale and it is already causing me so much stress and anxiety.

If you happen to be in a room full of successful people, chances are, you'd notice that they all have a common denominator: They know how to get along with people. While you would notice that the people who are alone their cubicles or workstations, oblivious of the comings and goings around them, are the ones who can't get along with others. This is a time-tested theory. Successful people are out having lunch with others. The ones you've never heard of, eats alone in the far corner of the cafeteria. That is the reality. When you fit in and get along with others, you can succeed and thrive in almost everything.

Whether you like it or not, interpersonal skills play a big role in the office. However, not all of us are aware or have the ability to get along with people at work. Here are some suggestions on how to get along with others:

Manage your pride. There is a possibility that you might be wrong. We all have had the experience of being criticized. Many of us initially respond by saying,“Who do you think you are? I'm better than you!” But if the criticism comes from more than one or two persons, then you must learn to accept that the comments about you might be justified. Maybe your actions or how you conduct yourself in the office needs to be adjusted or modified so that you can get along with others.

Realize that some of us have “bad days.” Your friends and co-workers have lives of their own. If one of them is in a bad mood, it's not simply your fault, and its not your job to cheer that person up. Same as for customer who wouldn't want to close the deal with you because of a hang-over. You simply have no control for situations like that.

Be understanding. strive to make friends among your colleagues. As the saying goes if you want to have friend, be a friend. It might sound old-fashioned, but it still works and is very applicable in the corporate world. If you want your colleagues to like you, be a friend to them. Be supportive. Offer your help once in a while.

Always look for the good in others that is the key. It's no big secret. If you want to avoid conflicts don't gossip. Even if you have brains and talent but poor in interpersonal skills, it won't be fun working in the office when you are making enemies.